You bought your many-feathered dream catcher in a shop on the King’s Road that also sells Native American headdresses, but that was 11 years ago and now you’re a bit over it. Wait, though – perhaps it has more uses than you realise...
Nipple tassels. Obvious, but who doesn’t want to make their tits more magical?
Attach them to metal rods in primary colours and place in your garden,
and, lo, you too have a Calder mobile.Insert nuts into the weave and you have a San Francisco (circa 1979) bird feeder. So chic.
A jaunty bookmark.
Put a paper filter in it and use to make hipster slow-drip coffee. This could be a viable business in some parts of east London.
One statement earring. Matching is so passé.
Spray it with glue. Voilà! The world’s most exuberant fly-catcher.
Hang it from your bedroom door when you are in the mood. Make sure your flatmates understand the new significance of the dream catcher.
Send a package of them to your friends in the South of France, where this item is still, curiously, very fashionable.
A doll hammock for a godchild. That’s Christmas sorted.
Wrap them in cling film and bury them in the garden. Get all your friends who are bored with their old dream catchers to do the same thing. Think of all those confused archaeologists of the future. A long game, this, but still amusing.
